Why This Election Hurt So Badly – Part 2

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Written by: Matt O’Brien

Now let’s talk about what the media calls the Alt-Right.  This is going to be fun, so much fun.  I’m willing to bet most of you haven’t done much or any research on this.  Luckily for you, I did.

I spent a few hours scrolling through some of their twitter feeds, and now I’m pretty much wanting to kill.

These people espouse White Nationalism, a “pure” America of worthy whites, cleansed of LGBT people, Blacks, Jews – ALL OF IT.  They talk about hunting us, saying that the Wolves are coming.    They post pictures of mass graves from the holocausts and say that’s just the start.  They post pictures of Nazi flags hanging over the buildings of New York, while Trump stands near a window dressed in a Nazi Uniform.  They is want they want, what they crave, what they desire.  And the Trumpers helped legitimize them.  They were on the fringe, marginalized even.  Not anymore.

Steve Bannon is a leader.  THE leader of that movement and he is now the Chief White House Strategist.  He will be one of the MOST influential and powerful members of the White House.  THANK YOU SO MUCH.

They have given members of this movement exposure.  They’ve been given power, given a national audience and a voice.  They don’t get to be horrified, or get to protest and say, “OH NO I DIDN’T.”  No.  The KKK ENDORSED Donald Trump.  We have heard Trump talk for a year and a half.  They don’t get to be surprised or act offended.  OWN IT.

Any harm or harassment, or rights or protections that get taken away from ANY Group is on ALL of the people for voted for Trump.  They don’t get a pass.  They knew who supported him, who endorsed him and heard what he said and still went for it.  And he doesn’t even have a coherent platform to speak of.  A Wall?  It took a decade to build the Freedom Tower in New York.  ONE Building, a wall several stories high across multiple states?  Decades.  Like, more than ONE.  It will take years just for the surveys and prep work alone, to say nothing of the bidding for contracts.  Decent odds the world, or at least us, will be a smoking crater by then.  Being lead by a moron who asked, why nuclear weapons can’t be used…ugh.s

Now, we’ll have more giveaways for the rich, the Middle Class might get a SLIGHT Break, but not much.  Less taxes for businesses?  The 39% tax rate is too high!  THEY DON’T pay it.  In fact, most of them don’t pay anything, and to top it off they get hundreds of millions of dollars in refunds that WE pay.  Loophole after loophole makes this possible.  They get money back for having Private Jets.

I could go on for hours picking apart everything.

Now, none of this explains WHY the election results hurt so badly.  After all, not Muslim or Gay or Black, so I shouldn’t be overly affected by the Orange Idiot and his brigade of psychotic clowns

I was bullied severely as a child beast, and went to a Christian school, no less.  Pushed down flights of stairs, chased by most of the class at recess and knocked down and punched and kicked.  I would walk to and from school, half a mile straight walk.  I got run over by bikes, several of them.  That is pretty painful.  I had neighbors who went to the same school.  They asked me outside, and I thought maybe this could be good.

I was beaten unconscious with PVC pipes.


It got so bad, I tried to kill myself in middle school, several times no less.  I couldn’t take it anymore, I couldn’t stand to see the people who bullied me standing there smug and assured that they would get away with it.  Those people followed me to High School, I thought things would be different.

I was wrong.  It continued.


A few weeks in, after study hall, I was walking down the hall when I was grabbed from behind and suplexed onto a tile floor, the move you see in pro wrestling.  It’s real, I didn’t think it could be done.  Punched in the face repeatedly, full braces no less, blood poured out of my mouth.  I was left on the floor bleeding and people just stepped over me.  At lunch, people I never even knew would throw tater tots and full cartons of milk at me.  I never knew why.  I had never even spoken to those people before.

I had a couple weeks of peace, right after I was beaten, I grabbed a knife and went after the kid; I would’ve killed him, if I could have.  I was done, I just wanted things to stop.

I just shut down, didn’t try in class, never went to a single game or dance in all 4 years, I stopped caring. My only refuge was photography class.  Though, it all helped make me into the diagnosed sociopath I am today.  So, Yay.

I moved west, to southern Oregon.  If you think all Oregon is green and lush… No.  It’s like Las Vegas… rattlesnakes and dirt.  I got a job at a sawmill and did work at the local newspaper plant, putting together those food sale advert things.

The Sawmill had a habit of firing you after a period of time because if you stayed long enough, supposed to get benefits and be eligible for things.  You get put on a trial, and right before that ends, they cut you.  So I got cut.  Nothing in that town to speak of.  I did odd jobs when I could.

A “friend” called me late at night, to come watch a movie.  I wasn’t sleeping back then either.  I had a drink.  Drugged, I woke up later, sexually assaulted.  Itcan happen to guys too.  He’s connected, and the cops wouldn’t pursue it.


So I got a gun, a .40 Cal Desert Eagle.  I sat there day, after day, after day with the barrel in my mouth, begging myself to pull the trigger.  I couldn’t do it, and not a day goes by where at some point during the night where I regret not pulling that tripper.  Every night for over 10 years.

I went home, basically shattered.  I met this girl and just ended up talking to her.  I told her everything.  Why I don’t know, never should have.  She said she liked me.  I freaked.  She had a boyfriend and that was line I wouldn’t cross.  I told her no, that I won’t have anything to do with that.  I remember being in her room one time, her and her roommate pushed me on the bed.  I left.  I couldn’t cross that line.

I was totally stressed and not good and she said here take this, handed a pill and it would calm me down.  Apparently, it puts you into some sort of half-awake coma.  You’re awake and aware, but you can’t move, you can’t speak.  She and her roommate did what they wanted.  They knew I said no, they knew it was a line I didn’t want to cross, and they didn’t care.  It was the same thing as before, but almost worse because they knew what my stance was, and they violated it anyway.

This why I will NEVER have a relationship.  I’ll kill myself before I allow that.  This is why I can, at most, tolerate hugs, and even that puts me on edge.  I’m already dead anyway, emotionally.  Not physically, not yet, but eventually.


Do you have any idea what Trump is to me?  Do you have ANY clue?  He’s the living embodiment of everyone that’s ever hurt me, who betrayed me, who violated my trust and my being.  He’s cruel, and capricious, and arrogant, and entitled, and mean-spirited, and uncaring.  He’s the grown up version of the people who made it their mission to break me since grade school.  And now they have given them everything.  THEY WON.  Every time I see that Orange Man, I see them as well.  Every day now I see them, because of them – the people who voted for him.  They gave every bully and jackass that hurts people validation – a big “attaboy,” telling them that it’s OK.  They gave everyone that destroyed me a big thumbs up.  I used to be really sweet as a child beast, or so I’m told, and then I went to school, and now here I am the lovely person you see today.  Now thanks to them, I’ll see them every day for the next 4 years.  Not the, actually, but their leader, their embodiment who won it all.  That’s what hurts the most.  They say, “Oh don’t let the bullies win.”  THEY let them win, the country let them win.  They got everything.

George said I have to be positive and constructive.  So here goes. To anyone who voted for him I am positive you’re all idiots and the most constructive thing you can do is leave me alone.  I don’t think I can forgive anyone, I don’t even want to try.
Now if you’ll excuse me… I’m far too sober to deal with this.

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